The 'Who is Bob?' game.

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El Canuck
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The 'Who is Bob?' game.

Post by El Canuck » Fri Nov 27, 2015 4:44 am

A fun little idea I had. Bob, one of our most consistent counters in the 1-1,000,000 game has been here longer than nearly everybody, yet, he is still quite the enigma. We really don't know much about him other than the fact that he is most likely from the state of Illinois and may still reside there and he enjoys the Kevin Smith character Silent Bob.

So, this leaves room to speculate and I have wondered on occasion "Who is Bob?" We don't really know. Heck, he might even be a she for all we know. I thought to myself, why not make a little game out of it? This is not to figure out who Bob is, but rather, to create fun little stories that colourfully and inventively answer the question "Who is Bob?"

I think it could be a fun little writing exercise for those of us who like to write to stretch our imaginations.

To not stifle creativity, I would keep the rules lenient.

1. Keep the stories at no less than one hundred words but no more than three thousand.

2. We're all adults here, but try to keep it from being overly vulgar or distasteful.

To kick it off, I'll start with a short little entry:

Who is Bob?

I think the better question to ask is: What is Bob? He was a man, once, a patriotic American in a time when that meant more than just being a fearful, white republican clinging to a gun yelling at a world that is progressing away from him. Bob was a patriot when that meant standing for the values of America and fighting for his country. He volunteered to join the army and they responded by giving him a helmet, a gun a suit of camouflaged fatigues and they dropped him in the middle of Vietnam.

He fought bravely, our Bob. Never questioning orders and always being a model soldier for his unit to look up to. As time went on, Bob did well for himself; he rose in the ranks and earned medals for his bravery and heroic actions. But our Bob was selfless and eager to serve his country and he was front and center to answer every time it called.

His selflessness damn near killed him and for a lesser man it very well may have. They sent him and his unit into the jungle and the enemy within. His unit was ambushed and Bob himself severely wounded. Yet, with every last ounce of energy he could muster, Bob fought on until reinforcements could arrive to back them up. When the shooting and shelling stopped, Bob was a crimson mess, shot more times than any man should be able to survive and yet, he was still alive.

They airlifted him to safety and a team of surgeons were assigned to save his life. There were times when the team were ready to give up, they said. "This man is beyond saving, there’s just too much damage and too much blood loss."

His superiors though, they were moved by Bob's will to live and his determination to serve his country and they declared. "This man refused to give up on his country so by god, his country cannot give up on him. Do whatever you need to do to save this brave, American hero."

And they did, to their credit. Bob was alive, though his body was ravaged. The surgeons declared that though Bob survived, he would never be whole again. Bob would never walk, never speak or do nearly anything a normal person could. There was yet a hope, but he would have to be transported back to the USA and even then, nothing was certain.

When Bob came to he was surrounded by men in white coats and military officers with more stars and bars on their green jackets than Bob had ever seen. They asked him if he wanted to do what was asked of him by his country and Bob managed to nod his head. They told him he was in Chicago now, in the hands of a top secret bionics lab and that with the full funding and support of the American government, they were going to make this great American hero whole once more. Bob nodded again to tell them he was ready and they say there was even a proud tear in his eye.

It took the best engineers and surgeons in the country working with a full staff that devoted all of their time, but they did it, they made Bob whole once more. He was more machine than man, a cyborg supersoldier that was practically impervious to punishment and nigh immortal. But there was a problem. During one of the many surgeries to fuse his nervous system with the bionic circuitry, there was an electrical surge. He survived, as our Bob always did, but the surgeons had no idea how it would affect him when it was done.

When at last their cyborg man was finished, they turned his systems on and he opened his eyes once more. He was a man, or at least looked just like one, with synthetic body tissue and hair and a skeleton of pure steel beneath it all that functioned like any human, but was he still the same man he had always been? He was freakishly strong, incredibly fast, as agile as a cat and impervious to pain, but what remained of the mind of the man within? For all the engineers and scientists had accomplished, they did not yet have the technology to give their creation a voice, but he could write and type and they put him in front of a typewriter and asked him his name. He wrote back three words: I. Am. Bob.

No one knew where he had gotten that idea, he was not Bob, he had never been Bob. But they decided that it was best if he did not remember who he was and the horrors he had survived and they told him that he was indeed Bob. He asked where he was and they told him truthfully that he was in Chicago and that he was born and raised in Chicago. They told him he was a fan of the Chicago Blackhawks, the Bulls and even the Bears. The team couldn't agree if their new creation was a Cubs or White Sox fan and said "You like to root for the underdogs and placed your fandom in that new Canadian team in Toronto called the Blue Jays."

Bob was eager to hear everything about who he was, even if it wasn't true and he soaked up whatever the surgeons and engineers told him of the life he thought he lived. They trained him to be the weapon the army wanted and built a new man out of him. A man they simply called Bob.

When they were ready, the team unveiled their creation to the military and while impressed, the Vietnam war was now long over and there was no pressing need for him. Fearing that the world was not yet ready for Bob and that his technology could fall into the hands of the Russians if they knew about him, the military decided it would be best to shut Bob down and put him into storage until a time came when America needed him.

Bob was not happy with the decision, but some little part of who he had been before survived: His sense of patriotism. Bob decided that if his country thought it best to hide him away in storage, then he was only happy to oblige.

So Bob went away, sealed in a vault in the basement of the bionics lab. In time, the military cut funding from the lab and it closed down, the building becoming but a rundown relic in the warehouse district of Chicago. It sat there, foreboding and forbidden to visitors behind chainlink and razorwire fencing. Time went on and as these things go, the world forgot about Bob.

It was about twenty years later that a young Canadian wrestling fan by the name of Paul Nemer was surfing the world wide web as it was called in the way back time of 2003. Young Paul had just created a website dedicated to wrestling news called WrestleView.com and he was trying to get the word out across old IRC chatrooms of the day and he encountered a man who claimed to be a bionics engineer employed by the U.S government at the height of the cold war. Nemer struck up a conversation with this fellow and even though this strange man didn't give a fig about Bret Hart, Nemer enjoyed the conversation anyhow. Before he left, the engineer said "I left my greatest work in Chicago. His name is Bob."

Nemer wondered, like we all do from time to time: "Who is Bob?"

His interest was piqued and now, he wanted to uncover the truth for himself. He researched all he could about bionics laboratories in Chicago during the Cold War and he set off to the Windy City to find out what he could. Nemer went through old newspaper microfiche reels until he found something, an article about a bionics lab that had shut down in the mid-eighties. He found an address, got some gear for urban exploring and tracked the place down.

It was a mess, as he expected, but Nemer was determined and he managed to find a way inside. Search as he might through the derelict building he could find no sign of anyone, let alone this mysterious Bob. Then he saw something: A door, half hidden in the back of a closet that led to a basement room. There it was, an upright container that looked like a fridge and scrawled across it was one word: BOB.

Nemer opened the box and inside was a man. Or rather, what was once a man. In the time he had been forgotten his basement storage room had flooded and his legs had rusted to nothing but from the waist up he looked almost...Human. Nemer found a switch and Bob came to life. At first, Bob scared Nemer as he began to flail in a panic and no matter what Nemer said or asked him, Bob could not answer. At last, in desperation, Bob made a grab for Nemer and he fled in fear from the building.

It gnawed at Nemer, though. That this thing that looked so much like a man but was clearly a machine was put in the basement of some lab and forgotten. So he found the courage and resolve needed and returned the next day to try again to communicate and understand this thing that looked so human. When he arrived, Nemer found that the creature had crawled its way to the main floor and had found its way to an old typewriter. On the page it had written three words: I. Am. Bob.

Nemer quickly realised that this was the only way the creature named Bob could communicate and he began to ask him questions. The more they talked the more Nemer understood what Bob was but he still didn't know who Bob was and Bob could not answer that himself.

Bob was confused; he didn't understand how much time had passed. He was depressed that the world had forgotten him and that the lab that he thought was home was now derelict and abandoned. He had no one to turn to, no place to call home. Nemer felt bad for the poor thing and began to wonder if should have even power up Bob at all. Yet, he felt responsible for it now. He couldn't abandon Bob, he had activated him, after all. If not for Nemer, Bob would still be right where Nemer left him, in stasis, oblivious to the fact the he would never get to be the American hero he so desired to be.

So Nemer did what he thought was best and he brought Bob back to Canada with him. The world might not understand Bob and may not be ready for him, but Paul Nemer was going to help this poor thing as best as he could. The arrived in Montreal and Nemer gave Bob his basement. Nemer explained that while Bob could not reveal himself to the world, he could watch the world. Through Nemer, Bob was given a television, a stack of old WWF tapes and the complete collection of Kevin Smith's movies. Later, he was even given his first computer and an internet connection with which to learn about the world. At first, Bob was ecstatic. He wanted to communicate with others and tell his story but Nemer couldn't allow that. He warned Bob that it was not safe for the world to know about him and that someone may try to track him down and shut off his systems again. To circumvent that, Nemer warned Bob to never speak anywhere but on the forum of his new wrestling news site: WrestleView.com. He told Bob to never tell anyone who he is and tell them nothing. Bob asked what he could say and Nemer told him "There is a game on my forum where people count to one million. Go there and count silently. Perhaps, when it reaches one million the world will be ready to know about Bob."

And so Bob waits. He forged an identity for himself based on the one character in all of Kevin Smith's movies that he connects with most: Silent Bob and day in and day out he counts to one million, slowly and surely, hopeful that one day, the world will be ready to know the story of Bob.

(2087 words)
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Re: The 'Who is Bob?' game.

Post by eobversion1 » Fri Nov 27, 2015 5:44 am

Bob is "D.B. Cooper" in hiding.
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Re: The 'Who is Bob?' game.

Post by Big slim » Fri Nov 27, 2015 6:04 am

Bob is the Lindberg baby all grown up.
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Re: The 'Who is Bob?' game.

Post by GooberBM » Fri Nov 27, 2015 6:42 am

Three thousand words is your limit? Man, you really *ARE* a fantasy writer
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El Canuck
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Re: The 'Who is Bob?' game.

Post by El Canuck » Fri Nov 27, 2015 11:54 am

Well, the upper threshold was more for my own limits more than anything else. To keep me from getting TOO distracted from what is supposed to be the equivalent of a mental stretching exercise. A limit which I almost pushed last night on that little story.
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Re: The 'Who is Bob?' game.

Post by Little Jimmy » Sat Nov 28, 2015 1:05 am

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Re: The 'Who is Bob?' game.

Post by Big slim » Sat Nov 28, 2015 9:26 am

Bob is the real "Higher Power", not Vince.
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