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The Haku Game

Posted: Thu Jan 21, 2016 1:40 pm
by El Canuck
Much like the Chuck Norris jokes of the last decade, this is a thread/game dedicated to the legend that is Haku, wrestling's toughest man. You come up with one liners depicting just how tough the man known as Haku (also Meng, in WCW) is.

I'll start:

Tonga doesn't have an army. It only needs Haku.

Re: The Haku Game

Posted: Thu Jan 21, 2016 1:53 pm
by El Canuck
UFC has a secret division called Haku Division. No one has ever qualified for it.

Re: The Haku Game

Posted: Thu Jan 21, 2016 2:00 pm
by El Canuck
Muay Thai fighters often kick banana trees to toughen their legs. To replicate this, Haku would require a permit from the forestry department for clear cutting.

Re: The Haku Game

Posted: Thu Jan 21, 2016 2:05 pm
by AndyF1069
Haku killed 3 birds with 1 stone.

Re: The Haku Game

Posted: Thu Jan 21, 2016 2:08 pm
by El Canuck
Nice one!

Hulk Hogan got the idea for the Finger Poke of Doom after seeing Haku use it to drop a guy in a bar fight.

Re: The Haku Game

Posted: Thu Jan 21, 2016 2:13 pm
by AndyF1069
Haku made a happy meal cry.

Re: The Haku Game

Posted: Thu Jan 21, 2016 2:15 pm
by Greg_McNeish
Haku once saved a family of four by pulling them from their burning home. The mother exclaimed, "thank God." Haku replied, "just call me sir."

Re: The Haku Game

Posted: Thu Jan 21, 2016 2:16 pm
by El Canuck
HAH!

George R.R. Martin had a character based on Haku in A Song of Ice and Fire but wrote him out because he wanted the White Walkers to have a chance at taking Westeros.

Re: The Haku Game

Posted: Thu Jan 21, 2016 2:18 pm
by AndyF1069
Haku has been to Mars, that's why no signs of life can be found there.

Re: The Haku Game

Posted: Thu Jan 21, 2016 2:24 pm
by El Canuck
The Rock learned the Rock Bottom from his uncle Haku, who demonstrated it on Rhino. Not the wrestler, mind you, but an actual Rhino.

Re: The Haku Game

Posted: Thu Jan 21, 2016 2:25 pm
by Greg_McNeish
The Titanic didn't sink because it hit an iceburg. It sank because Haku wanted it to.

Re: The Haku Game

Posted: Thu Jan 21, 2016 2:28 pm
by AndyF1069
Giant Gonzalez wasn't always so giant. He was 5 foot 4, then he met Haku. One uppercut later and he was 7 foot 7.

Re: The Haku Game

Posted: Thu Jan 21, 2016 2:32 pm
by El Canuck
Capcom wanted to put Haku in a Street Fighter game but he had to be removed when every strike resulted in an instant KO.

Re: The Haku Game

Posted: Thu Jan 21, 2016 2:47 pm
by Greg_McNeish
The Superman character is based on Haku, but they weakened his powers, to make it more believable.

Re: The Haku Game

Posted: Thu Jan 21, 2016 2:48 pm
by El Canuck
Haku is the reason the Sphinx has no nose. He says it tasted crunchy.

Re: The Haku Game

Posted: Thu Jan 21, 2016 2:49 pm
by AndyF1069
Voldemort referred to Haku as "he who must not be named".

Re: The Haku Game

Posted: Thu Jan 21, 2016 3:11 pm
by El Canuck
The mere existence of Haku classifies Tonga as a Nuclear state.

Re: The Haku Game

Posted: Thu Jan 21, 2016 3:20 pm
by Little Jimmy
I sneezed and I went Haku.

Re: The Haku Game

Posted: Thu Jan 21, 2016 4:13 pm
by El Canuck
The winner of the yearly World's Strongest Man competition technically only finishes in second place, Haku is the indisputable champion.

Re: The Haku Game

Posted: Thu Jan 21, 2016 4:17 pm
by El Canuck
The Tongan police force doesn't have detectives, if someone commits a crime and they can't figure out who did it, they just get Haku to ask around until the culprit comes forward of his own volition.